What are the types of zina in Islam?
A look. A message. A touch that is supposedly just friendly. Nabi ﷺ gave each of them a name.
A look that lasts a few seconds too long. A late-night message you would not want anyone to read. A touch that is supposedly just friendly.
Nabi ﷺ gave each of those a name. Zina of the eyes. Zina of the tongue. Zina of the hands.
Most people think zina is one thing, the act itself. The hadith says there are several kinds, and they start much earlier than the act.
What are the types of zina?
Nabi ﷺ said that each part of a person has its own share of zina.
The zina of the eyes is looking. The zina of the ears is listening. The zina of the tongue is talking. The zina of the hands is touching. The zina of the feet is walking toward it. The heart wants it and wishes for it. Then the private parts either make it real, or refuse.
So zina is not one moment. It is a road, and the act is the last step on it.
Nobody falls into zina in one step. They walk there, one look at a time.
Are these as bad as the act itself?
No, and it is important to keep the sizes right.
The act is one of the major sins. Nabi ﷺ said a person doing it is not a believer while he is doing it.
The earlier steps are smaller. Ibn Abbas, the companion known for explaining the Quran, said this very hadith describes the minor lapses Allah forgives for people who stay away from the major sins.
Smaller, but not nothing. That is why the Quran does not only say do not commit zina. It says: do not come near it.
What if I see something by accident?
A look you did not choose is not held against you.
A companion asked Nabi ﷺ about a sudden glance. He told him: turn your eyes away. He told another: do not follow one look with a second. The first is yours. The second is not.
So the first look is not the problem. Staying on it is. Going back to it is.
And the Quran puts it on men first. Allah tells the believing men to lower their gaze, and only then says the same to the women.
What does this look like today?
Eyes: what you stop on while you scroll, and what you go back to.
Ears: the voice notes and songs that are only there to stir something.
Tongue: the messages you would not want your family to read.
Hands: the touch that is supposedly just friendly.
Feet: the meeting, the party or the place you already know is a bad idea.
Heart: replaying a scene in your head that was never yours to keep.
None of these feel like zina while you do them. That is exactly why they were named.
Does this apply if I am married?
Yes. The Quran praises those who guard their chastity, except with their own spouse, and says whoever looks beyond that has crossed the line.
Being married does not make the looking fine. It gives you the halal place to turn to instead.
I have already done some of this. Is there a way back?
Yes. In one passage the Quran names zina among the worst sins. Then it says: except those who repent, believe and do good. Allah will replace their bad deeds with good ones.
Not only erase them. Replace them.
What to do
- Look away on the first look, every time. It gets easier with practice.
- Close the door you keep walking through. Mute the account, delete the chat, move the app off your home screen.
- Keep your phone out of the bedroom at night. Most of this happens after midnight.
- When you slip, make tawbah the same day. Do not let one look turn into a week.
What not to do
- Do not tell yourself it is only looking. The hadith named it for a reason.
- Do not keep late-night chats with someone you are not married to, however innocent they feel.
- Do not give up after you fall. Despair keeps people on the road longer than the sin does.
- Do not go looking for other people's private sins. This list is for your own heart.
One last thing
Allah did not only say stay away from zina. He said do not come near it. That is mercy: He is telling you where the road starts, so you can turn around early.
This week, pick the one door on that road you walk through most, and close it. Then ask Allah to help you keep it closed.
Source: Sahih Muslim 2657; Sahih al-Bukhari 6243; Sahih al-Bukhari 2475; Sahih Muslim 57; Quran 53:32; Quran 17:32; Sahih Muslim 2159; Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2777 (hasan per al-Albani, daif per Zubair Ali Zai); Quran 24:30-31; Quran 23:5-7; Quran 25:68-70
SM
The teaching in this post comes from the Quran and the hadith listed above. I only put it in plain words. The tips on what to do and what not to do are my own advice. If you want to talk about anything in this post, write to me at salam@sunnahdaily.com.
For a ruling on your own situation, please speak to a qualified local scholar. You are welcome to email me about it as well, and I will help if I can, or point you to someone who can.