What does haya really mean in Islam?
Something comes up on your screen, and for half a second part of you says no. That feeling has a name.
You know the feeling.
Something comes up on your screen, and for half a second something inside you says no.
Sometimes you listen. Sometimes you keep watching.
Remember the first time you saw something like that? You looked away. You felt your face go hot.
Now you scroll past it and feel nothing.
That feeling you used to have has a name. Nabi ﷺ called it haya, and he said it is what Islam is known for:
Every religion has a character, and the character of Islam is modesty.
Out of everything Islam could be known for, he named this.
Scholars differ on how strong this narration is. Al-Albani graded it hasan, others weaker. But the hadith below, from Bukhari and Muslim, say the same thing.
Where did it go?
Nobody loses it in one day. It wears down one scroll at a time.
The first video shocks you. The tenth one bores you. By the hundredth, it is just normal.
Nabi ﷺ said one of the sayings people kept from the earlier prophets is this: “If you feel no shame, do as you wish.”
That is where the numbness ends up. When nothing makes you uncomfortable anymore, nothing stops you either.
Why does it matter so much?
Because that feeling is part of your faith. Nabi ﷺ said:
Faith has over seventy branches, and modesty is a branch of faith.
The highest branch is saying there is no god but Allah. The lowest is moving something harmful out of the road. And this feeling is right there among them.
And it is not only for women. Nabi ﷺ was more shy than a young girl behind her curtain.
How do you protect it?
Nabi ﷺ told his companions that real modesty in front of Allah comes down to three things:
1. Guard your head. What your eyes watch, what your ears hear, what your tongue says, and what your mind holds on to.
2. Guard your stomach. What you eat, and whether the money that paid for it was halal.
3. Remember death. The feed feels endless. Your time is not.
And remember who is there. Allah says He is nearer to you than your jugular vein. The screen is never as private as it feels.
What to do
- When you feel that half second of no, stop right there. Do not wait to see how it ends.
- Unfollow the accounts that keep putting you in that spot. You do not have to fight the same fight every night.
- Before you post, forward or comment, ask: would I be comfortable if someone I respect saw this?
- Keep your phone out of reach when you are alone late at night. That is when the feeling is weakest.
What not to do
- Do not tell yourself it is fine because everyone watches it. Everyone watching is exactly how the feeling wears down.
- Do not make it only about what women wear. Start with your own eyes.
- Do not give up on yourself when you slip. Listen to the feeling next time. It grows back.
One last thing
That feeling still works. It comes back a little every time you listen to it.
So next time you feel it, that half second of no, do not scroll past it.
Nabi ﷺ said it brings nothing but good. It is not you being old-fashioned. It is your faith, still working.
Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 6120; Sahih Muslim 35; Sunan Ibn Majah 4182 (hasan per al-Albani, weak per others); Sahih al-Bukhari 6102; Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2458 (hasan per al-Albani); Quran 50:16; Sahih al-Bukhari 6117
SM
The teaching in this post comes from the Quran and the hadith listed above. I only put it in plain words. The tips on what to do and what not to do are my own advice. If you want to talk about anything in this post, write to me at salam@sunnahdaily.com.
For a ruling on your own situation, please speak to a qualified local scholar. You are welcome to email me about it as well, and I will help if I can, or point you to someone who can.