Why the home matters

Allah says He made your homes a place of rest for you¹. The home is where our children learn what Islam looks like.

Allah also says: protect yourselves and your families from the Fire². And Nabi ﷺ said: a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them, and a woman is the guardian of her husband's home³. So the home is a trust from Allah.

Please read this chapter with a light heart. Nearly all of home life is simply halal. What follows are mostly sunnahs: small habits of Nabi ﷺ that bring reward, blessing and protection.

• A sunnah is a gift, not a test. If you do it, you are rewarded. If you forget it, it is not a sin.
• Only a few things in this chapter are required, like asking permission before entering someone's home, and not spying. We will say clearly which ones.

Before you lie down

Allah calls sleep one of His signs⁴. He also says that in sleep, He takes the soul for a while, and sends it back to whoever is meant to live on⁵. That is why the bedtime sunnahs feel like handing yourself over to Allah for the night.

Sleep after Isha

Nabi ﷺ disliked sleeping before Isha, and chatting late after it⁶. Talking after Isha for a good reason, like family, study or a guest, is fine.

The steps

• Make wudu. Nabi ﷺ said: when you go to bed, make wudu as you do for salah⁷. If you go to sleep without it, that is fine. It is a sunnah, not a condition.
• Dust off your bed. Shake it out with a cloth or the edge of your clothes, because you do not know what came onto it after you left it⁸.
• Lie on your right side. Nabi ﷺ said: then lie down on your right side⁹. Turning over in your sleep is normal.

Nabi ﷺ saw a man lying on his stomach and said: this is a way of lying that Allah does not love¹⁰. So scholars say lying face down is disliked (makruh), not haram. If a doctor tells you to sleep in a certain position, or you have pain, do what is best for your health.

What to say in bed

Nabi ﷺ had a set of short things he said at bedtime. You do not have to say all of them every night. Choose what you can, and keep it up. You can read and listen to every one of them on our Sleep and waking duas page.

Dreams: good and bad

Nabi ﷺ said dreams are of three kinds: a good dream, which is good news from Allah; a sad or scary dream, which is from shaytan; and a dream that comes from your own mind, about the things you were thinking of²³.

A good dream

• It is from Allah. Thank Allah for it²⁴.
• Tell it only to someone you love²⁵, who will wish you well.
• Nabi ﷺ said: nothing is left of prophethood except the good news. They asked what that was. He said: the true good dream²⁶. A true dream of a good person is a small part of prophethood²⁷.

A bad dream

Nabi ﷺ taught us exactly what to do. He promised: then it will not harm you²⁸.

• Spit lightly to your left, three times. Scholars explain this as a very light spit, mostly air²⁹.
• Seek refuge in Allah from shaytan and from the evil of the dream, three times. Say: A'udhu billahi minash-shaytanir-rajim³⁰.
• Turn over to your other side³¹.
• If you like, get up and pray³².
• Do not tell anyone about it³³.

Waking up

When Nabi ﷺ woke up, he said: Alhamdu lillahil-ladhi ahyana ba'da ma amatana wa ilayhin-nushur. All praise is for Allah, who gave us life after He took it, and to Him we return³⁴.

• Clean your mouth. When Nabi ﷺ got up at night, he cleaned his mouth with the siwak³⁵.
• Untie the three knots. Nabi ﷺ said shaytan ties three knots on a sleeping person, whispering: the night is long, so sleep. When you wake and remember Allah, one knot opens. When you make wudu, the second opens. When you pray, the third opens, and you start the day full of energy and in a good mood³⁶.
• Fajr. Nabi ﷺ was told about a man who slept until morning and missed the prayer. He said: shaytan has urinated in his ears³⁷. This is said about a habit, not about a single accident. If you slept through Fajr by mistake, pray it as soon as you wake up, without guilt. See Why salah, who must pray, and the times.

Waking for Tahajjud, the night prayer, is one of the most loved deeds. The Fiqh chapter Sunnah prayers explains how.

Going out and coming home

Leaving the house

Nabi ﷺ said: whoever leaves his home and says Bismillah, tawakkaltu 'alallah, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (In Allah's name, I trust in Allah, and there is no power and no strength except with Allah), it is said to him: you are guided, you are looked after, and you are protected. And shaytan moves away from him³⁸³⁹.

Nabi ﷺ also asked Allah, as he left home, to keep him from going wrong, and from wronging anyone or being wronged⁴⁰.

Coming home

• Say Bismillah as you come in, and before you eat. Nabi ﷺ said shaytan then tells his friends: you have no place to stay here tonight, and no dinner. But if you forget Allah's name, shaytan says: you have found a place to stay, and dinner too⁴¹.
• Say salam. Allah says: when you enter houses, greet each other with a greeting from Allah, blessed and good⁴². Scholars say: if the house is empty, still say salam.
• Use the siwak. Aisha was asked what Nabi ﷺ did first when he came home. She said: he used the siwak⁴³.

Scholars recommend going in with the right foot first. The duas are on our Duas page, under Home.

Keeping the home safe at night

Nabi ﷺ gave simple night-time advice that mixes faith and common sense:

• Close the doors and say Allah's name. Shaytan does not open a closed door⁴⁴⁴⁵.
• Cover food and drink, and say Allah's name. If you have no lid, even lay a stick across the top⁴⁶.
• Put out fires and lamps before you sleep⁴⁷. One night a house in Madinah burned down with its family inside. Nabi ﷺ said: this fire is your enemy, so put it out when you go to sleep⁴⁸.
• Keep small children inside when the sun sets, for the first dark part of the night. After that they can go out⁴⁹⁵⁰.

What this means today

Scholars explain that the reason for the fire rule is danger. So it covers today's risks: candles, oil lamps, gas stoves, heaters, an iron left on, a phone charging on the bed. A safe electric night light is not what the hadith is about, and leaving one on is fine.

Asking permission before you enter

This part is required, not only a sunnah. Allah says: do not enter homes other than your own until you have asked permission and greeted the people inside. If no one is there, do not go in until you are given permission. And if you are told to go back, then go back. That is purer for you⁵¹.

How to ask

• Knock or ring up to three times. If there is no answer, leave. Nabi ﷺ said: if you ask permission three times and it is not given, go back⁵². Do not be offended.
• Say your name. Jabir knocked on the door of Nabi ﷺ, who asked: who is it? Jabir said: me. Nabi ﷺ said: me, me? as if he did not like it⁵³. "Me" tells the person nothing. Say "It is Ahmad".
• Do not stand facing the open door. Nabi ﷺ stood to the right or left of a door, not in front of it, and said salam⁵⁴.
• Do not look in. Nabi ﷺ said: asking permission was made a rule because of the eyes⁵⁵.

Inside your own home

Allah also teaches privacy between family members. Young children and helpers in the home should knock at three times of privacy: before Fajr, at midday when people change for a rest, and after Isha. At other times, they can come and go freely⁵⁶. Once children reach puberty, they always ask permission, like adults⁵⁷.

• Nabi ﷺ said: when children are ten, give them separate beds⁵⁸.
• Nabi ﷺ said: cover your awrah (the private parts of the body) except from your wife or husband⁵⁹.

Privacy and secrets

Allah says: do not spy on one another⁶⁰. Nabi ﷺ said the same: do not look for people's faults, and do not spy⁶¹.

• Phones and messages. Reading another adult's phone, messages or letters without permission is a kind of spying, even inside a family.
• Parents of young children are different. Watching over what a child does online is part of caring for them⁶². As children grow, give them more trust and more privacy.
• Home stays home. Nabi ﷺ warned strongly against a man who is close with his wife and then tells others her secrets⁶³. The same goes for a wife. Bedroom matters and family troubles are not for friends or social media.

If you need help with a family problem, speaking to a scholar, a counselor or a trusted elder is not breaking privacy. It is looking for help.

Siwak: the sunnah of a clean mouth

The siwak (also called miswak) is a small stick, usually from the arak tree, used to clean the teeth.

• Nabi ﷺ said: the siwak cleans the mouth and pleases the Lord⁶⁴.
• He said: if it were not hard on my people, I would have told them to use the siwak for every prayer⁶⁵. So it is a strong sunnah, not required.
• He used it when he woke at night⁶⁶ and the moment he came home⁶⁷.

Scholars recommend it most at wudu and salah, on waking, on coming home, and whenever your mouth smells.

What about a toothbrush?

• Many scholars say a toothbrush and toothpaste give you the sunnah, because the aim is a clean mouth.
• Others say the full sunnah is with an actual stick like the arak siwak, and a toothbrush gives a share of the reward.

Both views are held by real scholars. A good middle path many people take: brush your teeth morning and night, and keep a siwak in your pocket or by your prayer mat.

Nabi ﷺ in his home

Aisha was asked what Nabi ﷺ did at home. She said: he was busy serving his family, and when the time for prayer came, he went out to pray⁶⁸.

• Helping at home is sunnah. Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, changing diapers: a man who does these is following Nabi ﷺ, not losing his dignity. Other reports describe him mending his own clothes and shoes.
• Gentle with his family. Nabi ﷺ never hit a woman or a servant⁶⁹.
• The best of you. He said: the best of you is the best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family⁷⁰. And: the best of you are the best to their wives⁷¹.
• Playful. On a journey he raced Aisha, and she won. Years later they raced again and he won. He laughed and said: this is for that one⁷².
• Loving with children. He kissed his grandson Hasan. A man said: I have ten children and have never kissed one of them. Nabi ﷺ said: whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy⁷³.
• Spending on family is charity. When you spend on your family hoping for Allah's reward, it counts as sadaqah⁷⁴. Even the bite of food you put in your wife's mouth is rewarded⁷⁵.

Allah made spouses so that you find peace in each other, and put love and mercy between you⁷⁶. For more, read the anger you take home and five signs a home is going wrong.

A home that is alive

Nabi ﷺ said: do not make your houses into graves. Shaytan runs away from a house where Surah Al-Baqarah is recited⁷⁷. He also said: a house where Allah is remembered and a house where He is not are like the living and the dead⁷⁸.

• Pray some prayers at home. Nabi ﷺ said: pray some of your prayers in your houses, and do not make them graves⁷⁹. The best prayer a person prays is at home, except the fard (required) prayers⁸⁰. So men pray the fard at the masjid when they can, and the sunnah prayers at home.
• Let the Quran be heard. Read from Surah Al-Baqarah at home, even a page a day, and other surahs you love. Playing a recitation is also a good way to fill the home with the Quran. Our Quran page has recitation you can play.
• Let children see you pray. Children copy what they see more than what they hear. Read your children are watching.

A Muslim home does not need to be big or rich. Ask Allah as His servants do: our Lord, give us joy and comfort in our spouses and our children⁸¹.

Things people think are haram, but are not

Many home "rules" come from culture, not from Islam. None of these have a sahih text behind them:

• Sleeping with your feet toward the qibla. No sahih hadith forbids it. Some people avoid it out of respect, which is fine, but it is not a sin.
• Sweeping the floor or cutting nails at night "brings bad luck". Islam has no bad-luck omens. Nabi ﷺ rejected them. See Shirk: what breaks tawhid.
• Sleeping on your left side or your back. The right side is sunnah. The other sides are allowed. Only lying face down is disliked.
• Forgetting the bedtime duas. Not a sin. You just missed a reward. Say them tomorrow.
• A husband doing housework. Not shameful at all. It is the sunnah of Nabi ﷺ⁸².

What about pictures and dogs in the home? Scholars discuss these in Music, pictures and entertainment and Animals and pets.

Common questions

I fall asleep before I finish the bedtime duas.

That is fine and very common. Start with the ones that matter most to you, like Ayat al-Kursi, while you are still sitting up. Whatever you said counts.

My child keeps having nightmares. What can I do?

Teach the child to say A'udhu billah and turn over. Recite the three Quls over them at bedtime and wipe your hands over them, as Nabi ﷺ did for himself⁸³. Keep scary screens away before bed. If it goes on, ask your doctor.

I knocked three times at a friend's house and no one answered, but I can hear people inside.

Leave, without being upset. That is the sunnah⁸⁴. Send a message later. They may have had a good reason.

Is it okay to check my spouse's phone if I have doubts?

Spying is not allowed⁸⁵. Talk to each other honestly. If trust is truly broken, get help from a scholar or a marriage counselor you both trust.

Do I have to use a stick siwak, or is my toothbrush enough?

Many scholars say a toothbrush gives you the sunnah. Others prefer the stick. Both views are held by real scholars, so follow a scholar you trust. Many people do both.

I am a new Muslim and do not know any of these duas yet.

Start with just Bismillah when you come home, and Bismika Allahumma amutu wa ahya at bedtime. You can say any dua in your own language too. Add the others slowly from our Sleep and waking duas.