Does Islam treat women as second class?

Maybe you saw a clip online, or a friend asked you, or you saw a woman in your family treated badly in the name of "Islam". The questions sound like this:

• "Why does a son get more inheritance than a daughter?"
• "Why do two women witnesses count as one man?"
• "Why must women cover, and why is the husband in charge?"
• "Is there a verse that lets a man hit his wife?"

These are fair questions. Asking them is not a sin. This chapter goes through each one calmly, with the Quran and the Sunnah. It does not hide the hard verses.

The short answer

• Same worth, same reward. Allah judges a woman and a man by the same thing: faith and good deeds.
• Different jobs, not different value. A few rules are different, mostly about money and family. The man must pay for the family. The woman keeps her money.
• Much of what hurts women is culture, not Islam. Islam forbids forced marriage, harm in the home, and taking a woman's money.
• We do not know every reason. For some rules, Allah has not told us all of His wisdom.

Are women equal to men before Allah?

Yes. On the things that matter most, the Quran speaks to men and women side by side.

• Same source. Allah created all people from one soul, and from it He made its partner¹.
• Same measure. The most honored of you with Allah is the one with the most taqwa². Being a man does not make anyone better.
• Same reward. Allah says: I will not let the work of any of you be lost, man or woman. You come from one another³.
• Same good life, same Jannah. Whoever does good, man or woman, and believes, We will give them a good life⁴. They will enter Jannah and not be wronged even a little⁵.

One ayah names them pair by pair: Muslim men and Muslim women, believing men and believing women, the truthful, the patient, those who give charity, those who fast, those who remember Allah a lot. For all of them, Allah has made ready forgiveness and a great reward⁶. Nabi ﷺ said: women are the other half of men⁷.

Prayer, fasting, Hajj, dua, the Quran and Jannah are for both. Every rule below sits on top of this equal worth.

Then why are some rules different?

Equal does not always mean the same. A father and a mother are both parents, but their days with a newborn look different. In a family, Islam gives men and women different jobs, each with its own rights and duties.

Allah says: do not wish for what Allah has given some of you over others. Men get a share of what they earn, and women get a share of what they earn⁸.

"The husband is in charge"

Allah says men are responsible for women, partly because they spend their money on them⁹. In practice, this is mostly a duty:

• He must pay for food, clothes, a home and the children's needs, even if his wife is rich.
• He must care for the family. Nabi ﷺ said a man is the guardian of his family and will be asked about them. In the same hadith, a woman is the guardian of her husband's home¹⁰.
• Leading does not mean deciding alone. Nabi ﷺ asked his wives for advice.

Another ayah says women have rights like the duties they owe, in a fair way, and men have a degree over them¹¹. Scholars explain this degree as the extra duty of leading and paying for the family. It does not mean men are closer to Allah.

More on this in the posts What does obeying your husband mean? and Can my husband stop me from working?

What rights does a wife have?

• She chooses. A woman cannot be married without her agreement¹². When a father married off his daughter Khansa against her wish, Nabi ﷺ cancelled the marriage¹³.
• Her mahr is hers. Mahr is the gift a husband must give his wife at marriage. Allah says: give women their mahr as a free gift¹⁴. It belongs to her, not to her father or her husband.
• He must provide for her. Hind told Nabi ﷺ her husband gave her too little. He said: take what is enough for you and your children, in a fair way¹⁵.
• Kindness. Allah says: live with them in kindness. Even if you dislike something in her, Allah may have put much good in it¹⁶.
• She can end the marriage. The wife of Thabit ibn Qays had no complaint about his character or his deen, but she could not stay with him. Nabi ﷺ let her give back the garden he gave her as mahr, and told Thabit to divorce her¹⁷. This is called khul: a divorce the wife asks for.

At his Farewell Hajj, Nabi ﷺ said: fear Allah about women, and named their right to food and clothing in a fair way¹⁸. He also said: the best of you are those who are best to their wives¹⁹. And: I am the best of you to my family²⁰.

Why does a son inherit more than a daughter?

First, look at where Islam started. In Arabia before Islam, many women got nothing when a relative died. Some widows were even "inherited" like property, and the Quran ended that²¹. It said: men get a share of what parents and relatives leave, and women get a share, little or much²². A fixed right, set by Allah.

Then Allah says: for the son, the share of two daughters²³. Here is why, in practice:

• The son must spend. He pays mahr when he marries. He pays for his wife, his children, and often his parents and unmarried sisters²⁴.
• The daughter keeps all of hers. She does not have to spend any of it on anyone, not even her husband or children. Her husband must still pay for her needs.
• So in the end, the daughter often keeps more of her money than the son keeps of his.

It is not always two to one

• If the person who died had children, the mother and the father each get one sixth²⁵.
• Brothers and sisters who share only the same mother get equal shares²⁶.
• In some cases a woman gets more than a man.

In the same ayah Allah says: your parents and your children, you do not know which of them is closer to you in benefit. Allah is All Knowing, All Wise²⁷. For the full shares, see Wills and inheritance.

Why do two women witnesses count as one man?

This comes from one ayah about writing down a debt²⁸. It tells people to write the loan and bring two men as witnesses. If there are not two men, then one man and two women, so that if one of them forgets, the other can remind her.

• It is about one kind of deal: loans and business. Scholars explain that in those days, women dealt with loans and trade less often than men. The second woman is there to remind, not to replace her.
• It is not about a woman's honesty. Her word is trusted in many other places.
• Many scholars note that other areas are different. A woman told Uqbah ibn al-Harith she had breastfed him and his wife as babies. Nabi ﷺ acted on her word alone and told him to leave his wife²⁹.
• When a husband accuses his wife, her oaths count exactly like his³⁰. And a woman's report of a hadith counts just like a man's. Much of what we know about the home life of Nabi ﷺ comes from Aisha.

The four schools differ on which other court cases accept women witnesses. If this matters for a real case, ask a scholar.

The hadith people quote

On an Eid day, Nabi ﷺ told the women to give charity. In that talk he said women were lacking in mind and in religion. When they asked what he meant, he explained it himself: the two-witness rule, and that a woman does not pray or fast during her period³¹.

• The "lacking in religion" is not a sin. Not praying during her period is Allah's command. She is obeying Allah when she stops.
• The "lacking in mind" he linked to the witness rule. Scholars say it is not a claim that every woman is less clever than every man. Companions came to Aisha to learn, and Nabi ﷺ took his wife's advice at a hard moment (see the story below).

If this hadith still troubles you, that is okay. Ask a scholar you trust.

Did women have a voice in early Islam?

• Khadijah was a respected businesswoman. When the first revelation came and Nabi ﷺ was afraid, she calmed him: Allah will never disgrace you³². Most scholars say she was the first person to believe in him.
• Women asked for their own class. They said the men were taking all his time. He gave them a day of their own to teach them³³.
• A woman argued, and Allah answered. Khawlah came to complain about her husband. Aisha was nearby and could not hear what she said. Then Allah sent down: Allah has heard the words of the woman who argues with you about her husband³⁴³⁵.
• The masjid is for women too. Nabi ﷺ said: do not stop the female servants of Allah from the masjids of Allah³⁶.
• Women taught. Abu Musa said that whenever a hadith was unclear to the Companions, they asked Aisha and found knowledge with her³⁷. Islamic history has many women scholars who taught men and women. For more about her, see Aisha's age and slavery.

How does Islam treat mothers and daughters?

A man asked Nabi ﷺ: who most deserves my good company? He said: your mother. Then who? Your mother. Then who? Your mother. Then who? Your father⁴².

A man wanted to go out and fight. Nabi ﷺ asked if he had a mother. He said yes. Nabi ﷺ said: stay with her, because Jannah is under her feet⁴³.

Before Islam, some Arabs saw the birth of a girl as bad news. The Quran describes a man whose face turned dark with grief, wondering whether to keep her or bury her in the ground. Allah calls this an evil choice⁴⁴. On the Day of Judgement, the girl buried alive will be asked: for what sin was she killed?⁴⁵

Islam turned this around. Nabi ﷺ said: whoever raises two girls until they grow up, he and I will come on the Day of Judgement like this, and he joined his fingers together⁴⁶.

Why do Muslim women wear hijab?

Allah tells believing women to cover their beauty and to draw their head covers over their chests⁴⁷. He tells them to wear an outer garment, so they will be known and not bothered⁴⁸.

• Men are told first. The ayah just before tells believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts⁴⁹.
• It is worship. A woman wears it for Allah, not for her father, her husband or the people around her.
• Be gentle. If a sister does not wear it yet, teach with kindness and never shame her. See My sister does not wear hijab, but she is a good person.

For the full answer, read Why do Muslim women wear hijab?, and see Clothes and dress and Men and women.

What about the verse on hitting (Quran 4:34)?

This is the hardest question, so here is the whole picture, honestly.

Quran 4:34 speaks about a wife who turns against the marriage in a serious way. It gives the husband steps: first talk to her and advise her. If that does not work, sleep apart from her. Then it uses a word that most scholars read as to strike. Then it says: if they come back to you, do not look for a way against them⁵⁰.

What scholars have said

• Most scholars of the past read it as a light tap, as a last step, never in anger. They set strict limits: never the face, nothing that hurts, injures or leaves a mark. Some early scholars said it is no more than a tap with a siwak (a small tooth stick). Nabi ﷺ said in his last Hajj talk that it must not be harsh⁵¹.
• Many scholars said it is better never to do it at all, Imam ash-Shafi'i among them. Their proof is Nabi ﷺ himself: Aisha said he never hit a woman or a servant with his hand⁵². When many women complained that their husbands hit them, he said: those men are not the best of you⁵³.
• Many scholars today say it should not be done at all in our time, because it brings harm and breaks homes. A few modern writers read the Arabic word another way, like "separate from them". Most scholars do not accept that reading.

Real scholars hold these views. Follow a scholar you trust on the details.

What every scholar agrees on

• Hurting a wife is haram. Hitting in anger, hitting that causes pain or marks, slapping, kicking, choking, threats and insults are not "the verse". They are abuse, and abuse is a sin.
• Nabi ﷺ said: no harm, and no harming back⁵⁴. He said no one should beat his wife like a slave and then sleep with her at the end of the day⁵⁵.
• A wife who is being harmed has the right to get help, to go to an imam or a judge, and to end the marriage.

Is it Islam, or is it culture?

Many things done to women in Muslim families and countries have nothing to do with Islam. Some go directly against it.

When someone does wrong and calls it Islam, judge Islam by the Quran and the Sunnah, not by that person. See When culture and Allah disagree and When Muslims let you down.

What do we not know?

Some rules have a reason we can see clearly, like the son's duty to spend. For others, Allah has not told us every reason. We can see some of the wisdom, but not all of it.

That is okay. A believer trusts that the One who made men and women knows what is good for both. In the inheritance ayah Allah says: you do not know, and He is All Knowing, All Wise⁶³.

What can you do with this doubt?

• Read the whole ayah. A short clip often cuts one line out of its place. Open the Quran and read before and after.
• Separate Islam from people. If someone treated you or your mother badly, that is their sin, not Allah's rule.
• Look at Nabi ﷺ at home. He helped his family with the housework⁶⁴, listened to his wives, and never hit a woman⁶⁵. Read the Seerah.
• Ask a scholar you trust, ideally one who knows your life and your country.
• Make dua that Allah shows you the truth and gives your heart peace with it. See Duas.

If the doubt comes with deep sadness, anger or feeling unsafe at home, talk to someone today: family you trust, an imam, a doctor or a counselor.

Common questions

Why can a man marry up to four wives, but a woman cannot have four husbands?

The Quran allows a man up to four wives only if he is fair to each of them, and says right away: if you fear you will not be fair, then only one⁶⁶. It warns that being fully fair is very hard⁶⁷. Most Muslim men have one wife. Scholars give reasons for the difference, like knowing clearly who a child's father is. A wife treated unfairly has the right to ask for help and to end the marriage.

Why were all the prophets men?

It was never about who is worth more. Allah chose Maryam over all the women of the world⁶⁸, and a whole surah is named after her. Read Why were all the prophets men?

Can a Muslim woman study and work?

Yes. Women asked Nabi ﷺ for lessons and he gave them⁶⁹. Khadijah ran a trade. A woman's earnings are her own⁷⁰. See Can my husband stop me from working?

I read that most people in Hell are women. Is that true?

Nabi ﷺ said this in a talk on Eid⁷¹. When asked why, he named two habits: cursing a lot, and forgetting a husband's kindness after one bad moment⁷². It is a warning about habits anyone can fix, not about being a woman. In the same talk he gave the cure: give charity.

My father says I must marry someone I do not want. What do I do?

Islam does not allow a forced marriage⁷³⁷⁴. Speak to your parents calmly, and ask an imam or a trusted relative to help. If you feel unsafe, get help today.

My husband says Islam lets him control everything I do. Is that true?

No. Leading the family is a duty of care, not control⁷⁵. Your mahr, your money and your worship are yours, and he must treat you with kindness⁷⁶. Read What does obeying your husband mean? and speak to an imam you both trust.